"Can't Sleep Love"
A short rant on Pentatonix and study tumblr.
I love Pentatonix as much as the next person but I genuinely can’t sleep right now. There’s an energy in the air for me that I could be mistaking for as a combination of excitement and fear but I finally feel like my age. As if something is telling me that I can breathe again.
This week I was at my therapist and he told me that any time I speak he hears a guy in his fifties and not a twenty-something. I think that finally set me off. To be free from the pressures of academia and to actually start living my life. I’m not a student who’s a person sometimes. I’m a person who just so happens to be a student.
Whenever I scroll through the #studyblr tag I’m bombarded by aesthetic study spaces and regiments of people with some of the strongest discipline in them. It’s an achievement and aspiration, really. All of these people with such strict self-imposed schedules. I’m not here to yuck someone’s yum, but is that even marginally healthy? If it works then it works, but we just gotta think about it for a second.
Tangent aside, I used to want to be that kind of person. The one who was locked in 25/8/720. Yet it was so destructive that it changed my relationships with people as I entered college.
I think this is a long-winded way for me to say that I need go out more. But me so eepy :((((
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